when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
