they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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