I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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