i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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