The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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