Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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