I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
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Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You are a genius and a whore.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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