I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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