I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
