Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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