CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Too much gin, very little bucket
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
