And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
