Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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