We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
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There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
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She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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