If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets