and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"