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dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
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