i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask