We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers