My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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