i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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