i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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