I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
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i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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