I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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