All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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