Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
