alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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