I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
