Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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