Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Randomize