he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize