this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
