She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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