shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
