You work out of a Hotel?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
