Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
