We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood