Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?