it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.