I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
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As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today