Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.