i don't plan on having that self control this summer
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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