yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Princesses don't give blow jobs
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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