i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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