making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
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My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
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If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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