i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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