on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Quick, to the slutcave!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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