I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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