Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
