so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
