She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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