Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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