She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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