You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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