those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
