I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
