Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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