so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
