somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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