oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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