Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
