It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
