Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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