He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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