woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize